the LION

James 2-5 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him"

Most of you have seen my tattoo, and most of the time when I meet new people, i get "oh yeah! your the girl with the crazy lion tattoo. I've seen it online". The fact of the matter is that I feel like most of you have seen him (the lion) but don't know what it means. While there are tons of debates about whether or not christians should have tattoos or not, thats not what Im getting into right now. Right now I'm getting into what the lion means. He is my own personal representation of the Father and what God means to me. Before I came to Christ my life had no real purpose or meaning. Or rather, i hadn't found out what its purpose was. Through times of hardship and times of joy, there was always something missing. And going into my junior year of college I was at the end of my rope. I was broken, dismantled, lost, and quite frankly sick of looking for what was missing and looking in all the wrong places. Thats when HE stepped in. God saved my life. He's my warrior, my protector, the one who fights for me and my heart. the Lion/God is a majestic, strong, beautiful,provider. People are always so curious about why I chose to get a pink lion. I guess I had never really thought of a pink lion as a weird thing because I'm always confused when people ask about it. I wanted the lion to look like the entire Godhead. Strong like the father, gentle like the son, and miraculous like the spirit. Going further than that though, the pink represents the femininity of my heart that God has placed in me. It represents how we as women, get our loving, gentle, relational, romantic heart, from God. there are some other, deeper reasons, behind the colors, the eyes, where it is, etc, but thats for me to know :). The lion, who is a representation of God, is a reminder to me of the strength I've found in God and how my weaknesses are made perfect in HIS strength. Even when I'm caught in the midst of hurricanes, while lost in the hills and valleys, I'm thankful. I'm thankful that while in a season of pain, God is using me. He uses what this life throws at us to teach us his ways, to keep us dependent on him, and to ultimately bring glory to His name. Before I knew the love of the everlasting LORD there were times where the world made me feel like there was no way out. Now, even in times of hardships (which still hurt like all heck, and are far from easy) I can honestly say that I REJOICE at the fact that I'm alive and He's with me, using me, teaching me, loving me, and that "the hands that hold the world, are holding my heart''. what an amazing feeling!

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captivating

Catching the prince is a young girls wish
Asking herself, am i gonna find him?
Patiently waiting, through the years, and the doubt
Trying not to be discouraged, by the boys who let her down
Inviting others in, to her heart and in her mind
Voicing “am i worth it?” and “will he walk the line?”
And no matter what she says, when she’s hiding from herself
The desire stays the same, to lend a knight her help
Inside every woman, to the core of her being
Naked is the heart, exposed to be seen
Great with the desire, to be c.a.p.t.i.v.a.t.i.n.g

love letter

im not quite sure what this is… a poem, a love letter? you tell me. i wrote this a while ago but never got around to sharing it.




Just one touch of my beloveds hand, and my heart whimpers in my chest. I can feel the rush of emotions rising up my curves and surging through my veins. oh yes, the love for my suitor is one that cannot be tamed. And when your lips meet mine and the wetness of our mouths collide i am drunken with your taste. so soft and sweet my knees tremble and are weak. can you hear it? thump thump, thump thump. My heart beats with a song only for you. Your eyes of golden amber meet my wounded soul and massage me gently back to health, speaking softly to my emptiness and filling me with you. royal topaz sparkles flawlessly within your silhouette. Centuries gone by and yet not even a king may contend with your beauty. pitter patter, pitter patter, do you see? this elated heart doing a rapturous dance for your perfect mesomorphic entity. Worlds may separate, and seas may divide, but there is no wonder so great, that could keep your heart from thine. for all these things, and forever a plentiful more, this heart waits for you, my beloved, my dearest, mi amour.

answering the call

womanhood i hear you calling
you don't look the way you sound
and to be quite honest
I'm a little thrown off
by the way you've come around
I know your offer, and heard what you came to say
and to even my surprise, I'm taking your sour bait
but don't be discouraged
when i slip a time or two
because who are we kidding,
this is me your talking to.
womanhood i see your pain,
and i hear your desperate plea
begging me to just let go
of the girl i used to be.
hidden by shame, and covered in doubt
I've let my fear decide, when, why, and how.
womanhood I'll see your dare
and raise you with some truth
I've been hiding from all of the things
that were leading me to you
womanhood i see your offerings
of beauty, strength, and grace
with the Lord, ease me gently
, into this wondrous place.
I'll be quite honest
I'm a little scared
because you've set the pace
by calling out my bluff
and seeing through my poker face.

it feels a little like falling up

Wandering past lines long before drawn
Overcoming obstacles that have tried to hold on
Meeting the face of a girl thats been maimed
Adjusting the weight and shifting the blame
Now is the time to stop hiding my tears
Heaving the pressure and facing my fears
Onward past my worries and doubt
Oh my Lord, please lead me now
Destination womanhood, already, but how?

gimme gimme gimme

It's funny how simple life can be some times and how complicated it can be at others. something as simple as finding a remote control can take hours, sometimes even days, and after all the frustration, tearing the house apart, and accusing someone of forgetting it somewhere, you will lose it…again… and do it all over. On the flip side, finding yourself at a crossroad in life can be as simple as asking and receiving. I've recently been feeling really bored and stagnant with life, lacking motivation to simply get out of bed in the morning. I finally decided to do something about it and pray to God for MORE. more of his blessings, more ways to glorify him, more of his miracles, more of himself in me, MORE! I had spent weeks sinking into a depression about all the sorts of parts of my life when all i simply had to do was "ask" for what i wanted. I asked for more people in my life to connect with, BOOM, the past two days I've had some truly awesome talks with three old friends i hadn't heard from in a while and it was simply fantastic. I ask Him to enlarge my life, BOOM, he does so by sending me people i can grow with, inspire, and be inspired by, even if it is from 800 miles away. The blessings God has for us are endless, and for me, i wan't nothing less than EVERYTHING my King has to offer. I want all of his blessings so that i feel the love of my Father in every way possible, I want him to enlarge my life so that i may reach MORE people about him and have MORE opportunities to bring praise to his name. I want him with me step by step,BREATHE BY BREATHE, guiding me in His direction. I simply want MORE. and the problem isn't that my King doesn't give, the problem is WE…DONT…ASK. I don't want to look back on my life with my Father and hear him tell me about all the blessings i could have had if i had only asked. I want to do everything and anything i can to bridge the gap between our Heavenly Father and myself. and to me, that means wanting, giving, and getting MORE.